take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
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This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
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She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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