is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize