yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
