before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
