i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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