i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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