I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
