Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
