do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
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he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
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I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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