he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just blew my weed a kiss
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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