My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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