i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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