Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You're a waste of cheezeits
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
