I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
