just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
