Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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