my vag is so smooth its legendary
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
did i just pee glitter
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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