I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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