Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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