Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
