Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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