one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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