Already got asked if we're dating
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
