please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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