Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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