That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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