Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
