the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
