tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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