Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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