Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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