I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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