I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
