I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
