it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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