I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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