My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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