singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
