my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
