Can Purell be used as lube?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My legs feel like baby dolphins
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
