Sponge bath it is.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
