i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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