I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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