Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She's the barista slut.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
