are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
