he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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