Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
