fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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