I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
