3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
