Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
