from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
