the day after is always just damage control
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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