I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
