I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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