I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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