I could have mohawked her pubes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
