I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
