My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
