Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
