To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
